Mastering the "Crunchy Conversations": How Gorilla used More Happi to build leadership resilience from day one

Gorilla is a technology company, working with major energy retailers on the core components of how they operate and serve their customers. With a team of around 100 people, Gorilla sits at the intersection of complex energy sector knowledge and fast-moving software delivery.

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“I saw this as actually a really good opportunity… pushing myself and giving me to ability to bounce things and learn and grow.”

Harry Wheeler | Director of Customer Delivery, Gorilla

Harry Wheeler is Director of Customer Delivery at Gorilla, overseeing both the team responsible for delivering software to clients and the client relationships themselves - partnerships that typically span three to ten years. He manages a team of around ten people, working across disciplines from energy sector specialists to technical architects.

Harry came to Gorilla after a decade at a larger software company, where he had grown from junior contributor to senior leader within a single organisation. Moving into a new business brought a set of challenges he hadn't fully anticipated: new relationships to build, different cultural norms to navigate, and, as he puts it, “imposter syndrome” about what he didn't yet know.

The Challenge

When More Happi was introduced at Gorilla, Harry was only a few months into his role. He arrived with significant experience, but found himself in unfamiliar territory: stepping into seniority at a new company, building trust with a new team, and facing some genuinely difficult conversations early on.

Harry describes his situation candidly, having spent most of his career at one organisation, he'd developed in a fairly linear way. The move to Gorilla required him to flex muscles he hadn't exercised much, particularly around managing people through uncertainty and holding firm in difficult moments without defaulting to over-friendliness.

“Moving into new businesses, there's a little bit of imposter syndrome - there's an element of I don't know what I don't know and I don't know how other companies operate. And I hadn't really pushed that skill much as I'd gone through that kind of 10-year cycle with that big technology company."

His team, too, was at various stages of their careers; some in their first or second roles, others deep specialists in energy or technology. Finding a way to support each of them meaningfully, while managing his own learning curve, was a real pressure point.

Finding a Coach

“I asked the right questions. I was tested in the right way. I was provided the right level of structure and feedback.”

Harry Wheeler | Director of Customer Delivery, Gorilla

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Harry's experience of getting started on the More Happi platform was, in his words, “really, really easy.” He browsed the available coaches, made a selection, and booked his first session - a straightforward process that didn't create any friction.

But he went into that first session with a quiet caveat: this might not be the right coach for me.

“I suppose that maybe goes to the barrier to entry - you have your first coaching session and it might not click. I was very fortunate. I was like, great, this makes perfect sense. I'm perfectly fine with this dynamic. I asked the right questions, I was tested in the right way. I was provided the right level of structure and feedback."

He's remained with that same coach throughout and acknowledges that not everyone will be so lucky the first time around. The More Happi platform gives people the freedom to try a different coach if the first session doesn't feel right, though he admits that having to start again can feel like a hurdle. He compares it, with characteristic candour, to online dating: “You think everything looks good and then you go for it and you're like, well, actually, it doesn't quite fit.”

Harry suspects his own disposition - open, not overly critical of people, willing to engage - meant he was probably well-suited to working with most coaches, but he's clear that the match mattered, and that finding it quickly made a real difference to how the work unfolded from session one.

Once the dynamic was established, the sessions had immediate traction. Harry arrived with live, pressing challenges rather than abstract goals, which meant the coaching could be purposeful from the outset.

“It wasn't just: oh, what am I going to talk about? How am I going to break it? It was very much: I've got this thing and I'm bad at this thing - can you help? How do I get better at this thing? Because it's coming. And then it allows you to start really building on those things.”

As the sessions progressed, that early momentum gave way to something more fluid - an ongoing conversation that could hold both the immediate and the longer-term, referencing back to earlier work, calling out patterns, and evolving as Harry’s situation evolved.

How Coaching Came In

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“It wasn’t forced as a huge component of ownership. It’s on people to engage. And I think that’s how it should be rolled out.”

Harry Wheeler | Director of Customer Delivery, Gorilla

Gorilla introduced More Happi as an optional benefit, available to everyone in the organisation. No mandates, no prescribed approach - just an offering for those who wanted it. For Harry, that was exactly the right call.

Harry had some prior experience of informal coaching, a colleague who was training to be a coach, and would work through problems with him using open questions. He remembers finding it “very frustrating” at the time, as the coach refused to just give him answers. “Can you just tell me the actual answer?” was a common refrain. But it also got him thinking for himself and he recognised the value in that approach when More Happi arrived.

For him, the company offering coaching within his first three months was a signal about Gorilla's culture - one that confirmed why he'd joined.

“Within three months of joining, something as significant and as valuable as this was offered with no fuss. And I was like: brilliant. This is what I expect. It reconfirmed my positive mindset around joining this company.”

Navigating 'Cruchy Conversations'

“I saw this as actually a really good opportunity… pushing myself and giving me to ability to bounce things and learn and grow.”

Harry Wheeler | Director of Customer Delivery, Gorilla

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Shortly after joining, Harry found himself in the thick of some extraordinarily difficult conversations. The business was going through a period of significant change, and he was suddenly required to hold sustained, emotionally demanding discussions with people who were understandably unsettled.

He used his coaching sessions to prepare for what he calls “crunchy conversations” - a term to describe those uncomfortable, high-stakes exchanges that don't have a neat script.

“A huge part of what I was using my coaching sessions for was: how do I better prepare and structure those conversations? It not only gave me the forward plan, but helped me back-check what I'd been doing — reconfirming some things that I was doing right, and checking things going, oh no, I missed that and I probably need to be doing this a bit better.”

He even scheduled a coaching session mid-way through two particularly intense weeks - going in straight after one difficult conversation and before the next, using the session to process what had happened and recalibrate for what was coming.

The result? A growing resilience and confidence in situations that had previously felt destabilising.

“The next time it's coming, I feel a bit more confident, more comfortable, and confident in having a crunchy conversation.”

The People Leader Hat

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“Too many times I have fallen into the trap of trying to be a friendly people manager and actually it’s been a detriment to the person I’m managing.”

Harry Wheeler | Director of Customer Delivery, Gorilla

One of the most significant shifts Harry describes from his coaching work is about identity as a manager. He recognised he had a tendency to blur the lines between being a friend and being a leader - wanting people to feel good, softening messages that needed to be clear.

A metaphor from one of his sessions landed particularly hard.

“The metaphor we were going down in my coaching session was about wearing different hats. One of them was the people leader hat, it's a different hat to the friendship hat. And that to me has really stuck with me. Because too many times I think I have fallen into the trap of trying to be a friendly people manager, and actually it's been a detriment to the person I'm managing because I'm not being clear, I'm not being precise, and I'm not actually giving them the answers they want. I'm giving them what I think they want.”

This shift - from approval-seeking to clarity - has changed how he shows up for his team. And, he believes, how his team experiences him.

A Quantifiable Impact

“I feel a bit more comfortable and confident in having a crunchy conversation.”

Harry Wheeler | Director of Customer Delivery, Gorilla

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Harry points to a few specific examples of impact he can observe directly. He recently transitioned two direct reports to a new people manager, and found the handover straightforward - not just logistically, but relationally. He had a clear picture of each person's gaps and growth areas, and they felt genuinely supported through the transition.

He also describes a team member who, over several months, repeatedly expressed disengagement and doubt about their future at Gorilla. Five months on, that person has re-engaged with the business. Harry is careful not to claim sole credit, but he's clear that the quality of the conversations, and his ability to hold the line without becoming defensive or dismissive, played a part.

“Building up the ability to say: sorry, the answer is no, next question - that can be a hard thing to say versus trying to soften it. But also the resilience for myself to have these conversations and then have the next one. That's something that's quantified it internally for me.”

Encouraging his team to engage

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“If Harry’s doing it, then that makes sense that I can do it!”

Harry Wheeler | Director of Customer Delivery, Gorilla

As Harry's own coaching work deepened, he became a natural advocate within his team. When a more junior team member expressed hesitation about trying coaching, Harry's response was direct: he's on his third session - why wouldn't they give it a go?

A metaphor from one of his sessions landed particularly hard.

“I think it's important to be doing something like this when you're more senior as well. Because they're like: oh, if Harry's doing it, then that makes sense that I can do it too.”

That team member has since engaged fully with coaching - and Harry has noticed a visible shift in how they think about their career and the questions they're asking.

What He'd Say to Other Managers

“I feel more comfortable and confident in having a crunchy conversation.”

Harry Wheeler | Director of Customer Delivery, Gorilla

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Harry is enthusiastic, characteristically so, about recommending coaching to other managers who might be on the fence. His advice is grounded and practical.

“It's a bit like yoga. Once you're in the ecosystem and you've done it for a bit and you're feeling the huge benefits it brings, it's awesome. But the barrier to entry - people are like, I've got all my work, I've got all these other things to do, what's this going to bring me? You've got to get through that first bit.”

His three points to any sceptical manager:

• The hour itself has value. Simply taking time out of a relentless week to think clearly is worth something on its own.
• It works best when you come with a growth mindset. Harry's own orientation is to always want to be the person in the room with the most to learn. Coaching rewards that approach.
• It's not a one-session fix. It's ongoing, evolving, and cumulative. The value builds over time - and it tends to surface new challenges just when you think you've resolved the last ones.

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“I have been using [coaching] specifically for really testing me brain and testing my weaknesses.”

Harry Wheeler | Director of Customer Delivery, Gorilla

He also makes a point about the broader application of what he’s learning. As a parent of two children, he finds himself drawing on the same skills and perspectives at home - a reminder that the work done in coaching doesn't stay neatly in a professional box.

“Everyone has gaps. If you want to work on those gaps, you've got to be able to call them out, have the time to talk about them, and learn from them. More Happi has helped me get better at them. And I've still got so much to learn.”

Want results like Harry? Book a discovery call with our team to find out what More Happi could do for your organisation.

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