Finding the Courage to Lead with Empathy: How professional coaching helped an engineering manager at Gorilla become the leader he always wanted to be
Before Gorilla introduced professional coaching, Reinout Eyckerman had experienced something most managers know all too well: informal, ad hoc coaching from team leads - well-meaning, but deeply personal and inconsistent. The coachee had to manage the coach as much as the other way around.
When Gorilla made the decision to formalise development with professional coaching through More Happi, Reinout was immediately on board. For him, coaching had always held an intuitive appeal.
“I’ve always found coaching to be a very exciting thing because the way I look at it, you already have the answers. You just need to uncover them.”
Reinout Eyckerman | Engineering Manager
What struck him about working with professional coaches at More Happi compared to his previous experience was the difference expertise makes. Rather than spending energy managing the dynamic, he could simply focus on the work.
“Sometimes you end up managing your coach in how to coach you,” he explains. “Whereas the people in More Happi have a lot more experience and that helps you to get successful coaching and grow more.”
What He Brought to Coaching
“The coach has helped me understand what I want to get out of my life regarding the way I interact with people.”
Reinout Eyckerman | Engineering Manager
Reinout came to his first sessions with a clear focus: team dynamics. As someone who places high value on personal connection, he found himself asking hard questions about his own approach, whether the way he was showing up for people was actually working, and how he could support his engineers to understand him better, and vice versa.
But as the sessions developed, something deeper emerged. The coaching helped him make sense of a tension at the heart of his management style: he was trying to lead with empathy in an environment where empathy can sometimes feel at odds with hard decisions.
“Management sometimes lies in conflict with [empathy]. The coach has helped me understand what I want to get out of my life regarding the way I interact with people and how I can let those two worlds meet, because they don't need to be conflicting.”
The Shift: Clarity, Courage and Showing Up
“What coaching has given me, especially recently, is an understanding of myself – of how I reason, but it also gives me courage.”
Reinout Eyckerman | Engineering Manager
Ask Reinout what coaching has given him as a manager and his answer is striking in its honesty. It isn't a list of frameworks or techniques, it's something more fundamental.
For Reinout, courage means the ability to tackle difficult conversations without overthinking. To act on what he already knows is right, rather than getting stuck in the fear of how it might land.
“Getting that courage can be enough to just tackle the conversation head on rather than overthinking it. You're not scared of the conversation - you're scared of the reaction.”
He's also become more intentional about understanding the people he works with. One insight from coaching has stayed with him: if you feel a professional relationship isn't working, try to understand the other person better.
“There's the saying that if you can't get along with somebody, you just don't know them well enough,” he says. “If you feel that the conversations aren't useful enough, try to understand where they're coming from so that you can make them more valuable - to yourself and to them.”
The Ripple Effect
“It’s a slow cultural shift that I’m trying to promote to my team through the coaching that I am receiving.”
Reinout Eyckerman | Engineering Manager
The impact hasn't just been felt internally. Reinout believes his team trusts him more as a direct result of the work he's done in coaching and he's begun to take a coaching approach with his own engineers wherever they'd welcome it.
“I do believe that the people I'm currently working with trust me. And I think that a part of that trust comes through the coaching, mainly in establishing that foundation within myself that being an empathic leader is okay.”
He’s clear that the change is subtle: a slow cultural shift, not an overnight transformation, but he’s equally clear that it’s real.
Why Investment in Coaching Matters
“I love that the company I work at has offered me coaching.”
Reinout Eyckerman | Engineering Manager
Reinout came from a previous role where coaching wasn't even a concept that had been introduced. The fact that Gorilla offers professional coaching to all employees, not just the leadership team, isn't something he takes lightly.
“The fact that they're willing to open up coaching towards all employees, to discuss any and all aspects they'd like to discuss with a coach in complete privacy - I find that amazing. I haven't heard of a lot of companies that do the same. And if I were to leave Gorilla, it would be something I would miss.”
For the Sceptics: Especially in Techincal Roles
Reinout Eyckerman | Engineering Manager
Reinout is a software engineer turned manager. He knows the culture. He knows the pull towards hard skills, the instinct that coaching might not be “relevant” for technical people. He disagrees and has a compelling reason why.
In his view, coaching is a multiplier. You can build the most impressive technical solution in the world, but if you can't communicate it, advocate for it, or bring people with you, it goes nowhere.
“You create the next best carbon sink. You're a great researcher. Your solution is amazing, but you're not able to tell anybody: I made this. Then it has no value because you can't get it out there, and a coach would be the perfect person to help you with that.”
His advice to anyone on the fence? The investment is small. The returns are not.
“If you don't take the time to grease your bike every six months, your bike will still work, but it will grind to a halt. Coaching is that. It supports you in figuring out: is this actually working? Are you sure about that? And then you start growing... and the potential gains are a lot higher than you would expect.”
Want results like Reinout? Book a discovery call with our team to find out what More Happi could do for your organisation.
