How many requests have you received today?

“Can you just do X, it should only take you 5 mins…”

“Can you make a few improvements to Y…”

Technology has made it easier than ever to connect, but this can lead to an ‘always on’ work culture, resulting in resentment, frustration and at worst, burnout.

Let’s be clear, today’s newsletter isn’t about saying ‘no’ to everything. 

It’s about respecting your time, respecting the person making the request and (arguably most important) respecting yourself. 

Because as much as we’d love it to not be the case, our time is limited and how we spend it needs to be worth the investment. 

TLDR;

Today we’re sharing management training expert Bruce Tulgan’s 3 part framework, helping you:

• Learn when and how to say ‘no’
• Make every ‘yes’ worthwhile
• Gain a reputation for saying no at the right time and for the right reasons

Your 3-part framework:

Using decades of research into what makes people the most invaluable at work, Tulgan shares a three-part framework for managing multiple requests whilst building your rep as someone who gets sh*t done (without sacrificing quality).

1. Assess the ask

2. Deliver a Well-Reasoned No

3. Give a yes that sets you up for success.

1. Assess the ask

This starts with insisting on a well-defined ask (or brief), ensuring that you and the asker are on the same page and aware of important factors (how long it’ll take, what and who is involved, etc).

This demonstrates that you’re taking their needs seriously, and sets you up for success. 

The ‘ask’ should cover the following questions:

• What’s today’s date and time? (This will help you track how the project evolves.)
• Who’s making the request?
• What’s the deliverable being requested?
• When does it need to be completed?
• What resources will be required?
• Who is the source of authority on this issue, and do you have that person or group’s approval?
• What are the possible benefits?
• What are the obvious and hidden costs (money + other resources)?

📌 The smaller and less complicated the ask, the less info you need to gather.

If you know that the request will take 5 minutes of your time and you have the capacity then, by all means, say ‘yes’ without asking for the info above. Just make sure that you don’t allow the task to spiral out of control, and track your progress if necessary. 

When in doubt, try and tick as many of the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound) elements as possible. 

2. A well-reasoned no

A considerate no, delivered at the right time, can not only save time but unnecessary headaches down the road too. 

A ‘bad no’, however, is often rushed, with your decision to say no driven by personal biases such as the status and/or dislike of the person asking you, or lack of capacity due to saying ‘yes’ to too many other tasks. 

Bad no’s –> missing out on meaningful experiences, regret and hard feelings.

“Unsure? Try this ‘saying no’ checklist: if it’s one or more, it’s a no.”

☑️ It’s not allowed.

• “I don’t have discretion here. This request violates policy/rules/law. So you really shouldn’t make it at all. Perhaps I can help you reframe your request within the rules so that it can then be considered.”
• “I don’t have the sign-off to do x… It violates policy/law/rules – my hands are tied.”
   

☑️ It can’t be done.

• “Sorry that’s outside of my skillset”
• “Sorry, I simply can’t do it.”
• “This is not my speciality. That said, if you accept that I’d need extra time to climb a learning curve, then I’ll take a crack at it.”

☑️ It shouldn’t be done.

• “That’s not something I should say yes to at this time because the likelihood of success is low,”
• “…the necessary resources are too great,”
• “…it’s not in alignment with the current priorities,” 
• “…the likely outcome is [otherwise somehow not desirable].”

☑️ You don’t have the capacity.

• “I’m already committed to other responsibilities and projects. I’d love to do this for you at a later time. If that’s not possible, I’d love to be of service somehow in the future.”
• “With all the other priorities I’m balancing, I don’t have the availability to do it anytime soon.”

☑️ If your answer is “maybe” or “not yet.”:

• “I need to know more. Let me ask you the following questions….” (refer to the questions from point 1)

Using this question, you’re giving the person in need of help the opportunity to give a more thorough or convincing proposal.

3. An effective yes

Bruce Tulgan writes, “Every good no makes room for a better yes—one that adds value, builds relationships, and enhances your reputation.”

How to spot an ‘effective yes’?:

• It’s aligned with the mission, values, priorities, rules and goals of your organisation and leadership team.
  
• Ideally it’s within your expertise, executed swiftly (if possible) and confidently. It may also align with your existing strengths or offer an opportunity to cultivate new ones.
  
• It enables you to invest your time, energy, and resources in something that is highly likely to succeed and offers substantial potential benefits.
  
• Communication of the ‘ask’ is clear and the plan is focused, with well-defined boundaries, checkpoints and deadlines.

Read: the full article by Bruce Tulgan for Harvard Business Review here.